I know I’m physically here, but sometimes it feels like I am not actually in India. So far the experience still feels completely unreal. I definitely feel alien here. Even so far it has been a powerful, moving, and interesting experience, and we only just started the program officially today. Not only is the nation around me alien, but we are aliens to the Indians as well. Most Indians assume that any Westerners they see are missionaries and we attract stares everywhere we go. So I have the dual feeling of being a stranger in an alien place. Despite our eventual travels and studies of India, in four months what we see here will still be alien to us. David Selveraj, our faculty leader here, says that after his 52 years in India he still does not understand everything about his nation.
Being here provides some interesting insights. First of all, I am surrounded by the majority of the world. To think that we do not even understand a fraction of what the majority of the world does is humbling. I found myself wondering as we rode through the city- what are these people doing? Where are they going? What are they thinking and working on? What do their lives consist of? And I have no idea. We hear the numbers- 1 billion people live in India. Half of humankind lives in Asia. We know that us 300 million Americans are minorities, but knowing it and feeling it are completely different. Here I know what it feels like and it is a far more profound feeling than hearing the numbers. Being stared at on the teeming streets of an Indian city will make you feel like a minority in the world.
What is different about India, then? We have only been here three days, but I am still processing what I have seen. What is different includes the language, the food, the mannerisms, the philosophies, the politics, the people, the issues, the religions, the roads, the animals. Basically everything is completely different, down to the core of the civilization. Simultaneously I am trying to adjust to my internal clock being violently shifted twelve hours ahead. It is quite a disorienting time. We took two journeys through Bangalore so far. First was from the airport. I was dazed from being in a state of aerial limbo for the past day and a half and the journey was hard for me to process. But that rather calm highway journey was nothing compared to our trip into Bangalore two days later.
The streets of Bangalore are complete madness, an anarchic sea of motorcycles, cars, rickshaws, with only the most tenuous sense of order. The only thing uniting everyone is that they apparently really need to get somewhere, and fast. Each driver jockeys for position and approaches mere inches from other vehicles and pedestrians. The lane markers are only suggestions, with most drivers veering across lanes when they are free to speed by those in front. A horn is the most crucial tool. I think I could have casually conversed with the people next to me at stoplights due to our proximity, if I spoke the language. While Hindi is the national language, every state has its own completely different language. We wandered the packed streets for a bit and saw some basic sights around the city but even that limited tourism left me tired with a bit of a headache and wanting a shower.
Visthar is thankfully a respite for us- it is very quiet and small and already I think we feel at home. Hot water, electricity, and internet are rare or sporadic, but that is part of being in India. The campus holds the SJPD program and also houses girls that were rescued from temple prostitution. We will be learning and meeting with them more later but even just hearing their story and seeing them stroll about the campus is quite moving. They literally have nothing and have been treated like dirt from the day they were born but here they have been given a second chance and now they can be strong and carry themselves with dignity. The staff here is incredible, especially David, the head of Visthar. He is a brilliant thinker and what he has accomplished here is incredible. He spoke today of what people can do in the face of a “demonic system”, which could be any structure of oppression or injustice. In this case he was referencing the caste system, which seems permanently lodged into this culture and unchanging. He almost admitted that the caste system may be impossible to defeat. But still he said that he would “take a side, find the truth, and put his faith in those who are broken” because it was what he felt he had to do.
Today we exchanged the cash we will be using for the next months, and I exchanged 200 dollars. I reflected on what a meager amount that is, especially to sustain me and my material and travel needs for the next few months and how cheap almost everything is here. However, I was reminded that 2/3rds of India live on less than two dollars a day. 750 million people. I really feel also like a demanding American with wads of cash. David also reminded us not to be ashamed of where we came from, but being faced with this sort of random inequality- me on the side of privilege, the masses outside the window on the side of absolute poverty- it is hard for me to understand or justify that.
So this far I have had many important and moving experiences that I will remember forever and it is only the third or fourth day (if you count the day we spent comatose and jetlagged). I wondered initially if I was building up expectations that were too lofty, because I had heard about the life-changing effects of this program. But now I can see how fundamentally this program will shake and disturb us. But these cause a very fundamental examination of what is important to us all. Everything on the schedule seems incredible and I am getting anxious to get into the “meat” of the program. Tomorrow we are headed to a nearby village for the Festival of Ganesh, and then into Bangalore, where clay figurines of Ganesh are melted into the lake at the center of the city.
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